Travesty Satire
by Beo X
Summary: When S.P.R is put in charge of creating a new show to increase ratings, an audition held turns out crazier than assumed, but as the deadline draws near, a choice is made determining the cast that will decide the fate of the TV Network. I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS (EXCEPT S.P.R AND LITTLE HOMIE WHICH I CREATED) Leave feedback on what you think is funny so I can add to story!


**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED OR USED FOR THIS STORY. THIS IS STRICKLY A REALITY SHOW PARODY FEATURING SOME CHARACTERS I FIND INTERESTING WHEN PUT IN A COMDEIC SCENARIO.**

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><p>S.P.R aka The Skinny Puerto Rican Man, wearing a black suit enters his office. A letter waits on his desk as he sits. He observes the letter for a moment, picks it up, and reads the company memo. "Wonderful, another crappy show attached with people who specialize in halfassing." The letter is put down. He leans back in his chair, hands planted on chin and looks out the window. "Some TV Networks suck when it comes to original shows…" he pauses in thought with hands falling to side, "Better yet, why am I talking to myself?"<p>

There's a knock on the door. "That must be the new producer I was told about." Jaffar from _Disney's Aladdin_ enters the room with a lion cub, which looks like Scar from Lion King on his right shoulder. "I am Jaffar, a former Royal Adviser from Agrabah who happens to be half genie. Do not ask how, it was a mistake on my behalf. It is wonderful to meet you Mr. Skinny Puerto Rican Man."

"S.P.R works fine—no need to say my whole name." He sees the lion cub that looks like Scar from Disney's Lion King. "That lion cub looks familiar. Almost like Scar from Lion King."

Jaffar places his staff against the desk and sits in the chair with Scare in his lap. "Being a genie has its benefits. Upon being betrayed by a bird that will not be named, I revived Scare to replace him as my personal pet. Unlike that bird, Scar listens and understands my evil ways."

S.P.R looks like he doesn't care, "Way too much information I don't need to know."

Little Homie, a 4 foot 8 inches little black man pops his head out the door, "Yo Skinny Puerto Rican Man, we still down for that invite I sent ya?"

"Hell Yeah! I could I not go after what you put in the body of that email, and I mean, dam, I don't know how you did that thing with the other thing that connected to what's its face, but bro, its wicked tight."

"Word," says Little Homie.

"Sentence," replies S.P.R.

"Yay Yay Yeee," both said with emphasis.

Little Homie closes the door and Jaffar feels out of place. "He has the leisure of calling by your name, but not me?"

"I think you know the answer to that," replies S.P.R skeptically.

S.P.R looks disturb as Jaffar pets Scar on his belly, while calling him names, "Who's my killer baby cub, huh? You want to chew off someone's face later?" Scars laughs, but in a way that's more threatening than friendly.

"Thank god this is a temporally show, or else I'd hang myself," comments S.P.R "Okay, let's talk about what the show is about."

One hour later, the plans for the show are set. "It's been fun," says S.P.R. "Now go before you and your creepy cub spark my interest to watch your movies again—just to see you fail."

Jaffar places Scar on his right shoulder and grabs his staff upon getting out the chair, "I would be offended, however, I too, feel that was my worst time in acting—and I mean both movies."

**Camera: Jaffar**

"I am sure you are wondering what has been discussed." Jaffar pets Scar and he roars. "The show has been set to become a reality show featuring characters we all know. I very much look forward to this collection of personalities under one household. Let the auditions begin!"

**Off Camera**

Amy from _Sailor Moon_ enters Jaffar's office in her Japanese schoolgirl outfit. She sits with her hands on her lap and smiles. "Hello! I am very much interested in joining the show. What do you require for my participation?"

"I have a very high standards, which you clearly are not in. In your case, I require a special reason since I see nothing that catches my interest. Convince me now you deserve a spot, or leave."

Amy gets up from the chair, backs up from the desk and takes out a mirror. "Mercury Power, Make Up!" She changes into Sailor Mercury and does her perfect pose. The once nerdy schoolgirl has now become a sexy fighter showing off her body with an outfit that complements her. Jaffar's mouth drops in shock. "Have I changed your mind yet?" Amy asks. Jaffar says, "Welcome to the show."

Raikou from _Pokémon_ enters. He pulls the chair out with his mouth and sits on his butt. "Rai."

Jaffar looks confuse, "How in the world would that make a difference?"

"Rai Rai."

"Who would believe that and how do I understand you?"

"Rai."

"Is language logic really that corrupt in Pokémon?"

"Rai Rai Rai."

"No wonder I never understood a word any of you said—that explains everything."

"Rai Rai."

"I had no idea your fan base was so large," says Jaffar rubbing his chin, "and why are you here?"

"Rai Rai Rai."

"Huh, you were booted after the season ended. Oh dear! I can see your anger."

"Rai," says Raikou angry.

"Why would such a fine legendary dog not want to be captured and used to battle? I suppose they are idiots for not using your talents—Welcome to the show!"

Captain Planet flies through the door singing, "I'm Captain Planet, a superhero, going to take pollution down to zero-"

"This is an audition, not a singing show," yells Jaffar.

"Why don't I make it up to you by cleaning your office? I love to clean."

"No, get out. And I hope you gay brother Mr. Clean is not next."

Captain Planet flies away saying, "Thank you for the chance. The Power is Yours!"

Jaffar comments, "He really annoys me. He reminds me of that street rat, but his kindness makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe he might have been trying to hit on me. To be fair, it was never acknowledged whether or not he was straight or gay."

Scar looks at Jaffar puzzled. "Do not judge, Scar."

Vageta from _Dragon Ball Z_ comes in blasting the doors open and sits in the chair, arms cross, and right leg on top of the left, "Let's skip the questions and get straight to the point here—am I in or what?"

"Why in the world would I let a chaotic person as yourself into a show I plan to promote all around the world?"

Vageta says, "I don't really care you fag bag. Or are you a crazy cat man? None of it matters personally."

Jaffar is upset, "I want you out of this office right away. No one calls me a fag bag or crazy cat man."

"It's hard to tell how you feel when you have the same facial expression all the time. I personally think you're constipated most of the time and angry the others."

Jaffar yells, "You take that back you filthy Saiyan!"

Vageta takes out his phone and hands it to Jaffar, "I'm not talking out of my ass, and it's your fault for posting so many photos."

Jaffar looks at the photos one by one and sees he looks angry or constipated at: the beach, his house, around women, Aladdin reunion, Disney's Grammy's, and recent ultimate selfie photo moments before the auditions began on .

Jaffar hands Vageta his phone back, "Scare, remind me to talk to my agent later. We need to discuss certain failures that escape me."

"I'm also a fan of the comments left by Aladdin and Genie. I think they're hilarious… Hahaha!"

"It can not be that horrible," says Jaffar hoping he's right.

"Aladdin said, 'Jasmine told me Jaffar's manhood region is the same as an empty ink pen: something goes in, but there's barely anything #Jafar'sTinyWeeWee. Genie said, 'Jaffar's been beat so much, when he ejaculates, there's only failure #Owned!"

Jaffar yells, "Go to hell!"

Vageta looks at Jaffar smiling. "You know what… F..k you too!"

The two stare at each other, never blinking.

Jaffar smiles, "Welcome to the show!"

Mimi and Biyomon from _Digimon_ enter through the door and sit. Jaffar looks left and right trying to figure something out. "Excuse me, but I feel something is quite off."

Mimi says annoyed, "Palmon and I were just co-workers on the show. Why does everyone assume we're always together?"

"I do not keep up with anyone after a show or movie ends."

Biyomon said, "All you have to know is Sora and Palmon thought they were better. So Mimi and I joined forces and decided to get back on TV together."

Scar looks at Biyomon like fresh meat. She notices and flies in front of him. "Got a problem? Don't think I won't fight back? I'm a Digimon and I'll burn you. Don't test me fur ball!"

Scar covers his eyes in fear.

"I do need another female for the show, but not the bird."

"We come together or I leave. And trust me, the other women out there aren't as good looking as me."

Jaffar turns on the camera out of curiosity and sees many ugly women waiting to see him, "Perhaps having two for the price of one is an offer I can not refuse. Welcome to the show!"

Jaffar waits for the next candidate to appear, but no one enters through the door. The Yu-Gi-Oh Card White Hole appears from the ceiling and Black Luster Soldier from _Yu-Gi-Oh_ drops. He puts his sword and shield away and sits in the chair.

"I have not had such a entrance yet. What can you do for me?"

Black Luster Soldier never speaks, but moves his body as if he is.

"You do make a great point. How could I not see that?"

Black Luster Soldier continues silent talking.

"Those qualities do make a fine contribution to my show."

Black Luster Soldier concludes by making a circle with his hands and crosses his arms.

"I need no further information from you. You meet my standards. Welcome to the show!"

Jaffar sees others and the rest turn out to be disappointments. S.P.R calls in to know how the casting is going. "How's the cast looking like?"

"I have 5 of the 6 roles casted, but one is needed."

"Who have you casted already?"

"I have Sailor Mercury, Vageta, Raikou, Mimi and Biyomon, and Black Luster Soldier."

"Any others that at least come close to your standards?"

"There were many disappointments. One specifically that annoyed me was Captain Planet."

"What about him annoyed you?"

"He has no place in my show! You will see when I show you the video footage."

S.P.R wants Captain Planet because he looks weird and adds to the show in a way no other cast member can. "Cast him right away. He's weird and brings in something I can't explain, but he has 'it'."

"You want him in, but that will ruin my vision."

"I'm the Executive Producer. Cast him or I fire you!"

Jaffar hangs up the phone and calls the sectary in the front desk. "This request pains me in a way that even the comment by Genie calling my lamp a magical dildo can not touch. Call Captain Planet and tell him he is in."

Captain Planet flies through the doors, "I was just cleaning and having a conversation about the environment with the sectary and heard what you said. Do you really need me that bad?"

"Yes," says Jaffar forcing the words out his mouth.

"I mean, do you really, really need me?"

"Do not push your luck. I still consider you the gay brother of Mr. Clean."

Captain Planet flies in front of the camera, "See what happens when you work hard kids. Just like cleaning the environment, there's always an opportunity to contribute back to the world. The Power Is Yours!"

Captain Planet freezes in place. Jaffar looks puzzled, "Why are you speaking to the security cameras like they are televisions."


End file.
